{"title":"Goyim Squad","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-patch","title":"Goyim Squad \/ Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Patch","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eThere's a job for everyone in the Corps! We polish the mirrors, align the guidance system, and, when we are called on, we fire the laser on our very real and not fake satellite. But what happens on Shabbat? Members of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs until the appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eAnd now, members of the Goyim Squad can wear their patches proudly!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eAvailable in either \u003cstrong\u003eiron-on\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong\u003evelcro-backed\u003c\/strong\u003e versions. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAlso available as an \u003ca data-mce-fragment=\"1\" href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-enamel-pin\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\"\u003eenamel pin\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"s1\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to candidates and organizations working to defeat QAnon supporters running for Congress.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeasurements: 3.25\" wide x 3.5\" tall\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOriginal illustration © Nick Jehlen\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Patches","offers":[{"title":"Iron-on","offer_id":39911844184248,"sku":"DPHSJSLG1","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Velcro","offer_id":39911844217016,"sku":"DPHSJSLG1V","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/products\/SJSLCGoyimSquadPatchinhand2.jpg?v=1624128143"},{"product_id":"secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-enamel-pin","title":"Goyim Squad \/ Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Enamel Pin","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThere's a job for everyone in the Corps! We polish the mirrors, align the guidance system, and, when we are called on, we fire the laser on our\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003every real and not fake satellite. But what happens on Shabbat? Members of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs until\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ethe appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAnd now, members of the Goyim Squad can wear their own enamel pins proudly!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to candidates and organizations working to defeat QAnon supporters running for Congress.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci\u003ePin is 1.6\" wide. This product has small parts and is not made for children.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dissent Pins","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39911958315192,"sku":"DPPSJSLG1","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/products\/SJSLCGoyimSquadPininhand4cropped.jpg?v=1624127906"},{"product_id":"goyim-squad-secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-t-shirt","title":"Goyim Squad \/ Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps T-shirt","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMembers of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs on our very real and not at all fake space laser on Shabbat until\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethe appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNow, members of the Goyim Squad can wear their own T-shirts proudly!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em;\"\u003eMade in the USA\u003cbr\u003ePrinted in Vermont\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to voting rights organizations.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ePart of the MAZEL TOUGH collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColor: Navy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric: 100% Cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex Sizing: \u003cem\u003eScroll down for size chart\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAlso available as an \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\"\u003eenamel pin\u003c\/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-patch\"\u003epatch\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eUnisex Size Chart\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNote: if you are between sizes, size up as 100% cotton tees are prone to slight shrinkage.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003e\u003cimg style=\"float: none;\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/files\/Royal_5051_Size_Chart.2.jpg?v=1618776374\" alt=\"T-shirt Size Chart\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOriginal illustration © Nick Jehlen\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"T-shirts","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":42501428052219,"sku":"DTSSJGRNXS1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42501428084987,"sku":"DTSSJGRNS1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":42501428117755,"sku":"DTSSJGRNM1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42501428150523,"sku":"DTSSJGRNL1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42501428183291,"sku":"DTSSJGRNXL1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42501428216059,"sku":"DTSSJGRN2XL1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42501428248827,"sku":"DTSSJGRN3XL1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42501428281595,"sku":"DTSSJGRN4XL1","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/products\/SJSLCGoyimT-shirt-Ariel1500x1500.jpg?v=1679169154"},{"product_id":"secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-sticker-wholesale","title":"Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Goyim Squad - Sticker","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMembers of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs on our very real and not at all fake space laser on Shabbat until\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethe appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003eAdd this sticker to your mug, your car, or anywhere else you want to declare your (secret) membership in the Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Goyim Squad! \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUV Laminated White Polypropylene\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSuitable for indoor + outdoor use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4\" wide \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" class=\"s1\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to voting rights organizations\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAlso available as an \u003ca data-mce-fragment=\"1\" href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\"\u003eenamel pin\u003c\/a\u003e and\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-patch\"\u003epatch\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOriginal illustration © Nick Jehlen\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42501468520699,"sku":"DPSSJSLG1","price":6.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/products\/GoyimSquadStickerMock-up1500x1500_a366acdb-1328-4097-9779-69ae46f412ad.jpg?v=1641840767"},{"product_id":"secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-hoodie","title":"Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Goyim Squad Hoodie Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-order only!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMembers of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs on our very real and not at all fake space laser on Shabbat until\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethe appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to candidates and organizations working to defeat QAnon supporters running for Congress.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eNow that Marjorie Taylor Greene has\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/nymag.com\/intelligencer\/article\/marjorie-taylor-greene-qanon-wildfires-space-laser-rothschild-execute.html\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" target=\"_blank\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/nymag.com\/intelligencer\/article\/marjorie-taylor-greene-qanon-wildfires-space-laser-rothschild-execute.html\"\u003erevealed the existence\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eof the secret Jewish Space Laser, we're making the official Secret Jewish Spacer Laser Corp Hoodies available to the public. Bonus: your purchase helps raise funds to defeat QAnon-supporting politicians!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ePart of the MAZEL TOUGH collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eColor: Navy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePullover hood, inset sleeves, kangaroo pocket\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy weight, 10.3 oz\/yd2\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton 20% recycled polyester anti-pill fleece\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLined hood, tonal shoestring drawcord, sleeve cuff ribbing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk to minimize shrinkage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex Sizing:\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eScroll down for size chart\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eHoodies are manufactured by ascolour. \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/ascolour.com\/social-responsibility\"\u003eSocial Responsibility Statement\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePrinted by New Duds in Vermont. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eAlso available as an \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-enamel-pin\"\u003eenamel pin\u003c\/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/collections\/secret-jewish-space-laser\/products\/secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-patch\"\u003epatch\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eUnisex Size Chart\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/files\/ASColourHoodie5102SizeChart480wide_4a36f9b7-660b-4f39-b1e2-e81d3e5c2492_480x480.jpg?v=1678477757\" alt=\"Size Chart\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOriginal illustration © Nick Jehlen\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Hoodie","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":44441691488507,"sku":"DHOSJGRNXS1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":44441691521275,"sku":"DHOSJGRNS1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44441691554043,"sku":"DHOSJGRNM1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44441691586811,"sku":"DHOSJGRNL1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44441691619579,"sku":"DHOSJGRNXL1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44441691652347,"sku":"DHOSJGRN2XL1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44441691685115,"sku":"DHOSJGRN3XL1","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/products\/SJSLCGoyimHoodie-Ariel21500x1500_59826769-96e0-4586-9b1d-a025793556b2.jpg?v=1679260388"},{"product_id":"secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-goyim-squad-car-magnet","title":"Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Goyim Squad - Car Magnet","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMembers of the Goyim Squad are trained to handle all necessary jobs on our very real and not at all fake space laser on Shabbat until\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethe appearance of the three stars (as seen from our ground-based headquarters, of course.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eStick this magnet to your car or fridge and declare your (secret) membership in the Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Goyim Squad!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e4\" wide x 4.25 tall\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e50% of profits from this product will be donated to voting rights organizations\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOriginal illustration ©2021 Nick Jehlen\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dissent Pins","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44580762812667,"sku":"DCMSJSLG1","price":11.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1746\/4337\/files\/GoyimSquadCarMagnetoncar1.jpg?v=1684265919"}],"url":"https:\/\/dissentpins.com\/collections\/goyim\/wh_patch.oembed","provider":"Dissent Pins","version":"1.0","type":"link"}